Pro and Con: Promposals

Pro- Elaine Clarke

Photo Credits: Raising Teens Today

Promposals are a cute tradition associated with prom and the prom season. Despite the fact that many promposals lead to embarrassment or awkwardness between the prompopsal-er and the promposal-ee, they can often be sweet moments between two teens excited for the prom season. However the most important factor in this sweetness is context.

Promposals have to be given in specific instances where you know you will get a “yes.” In other words, you are promposing to your partner or a friend and have already established that you are going to prom together. Promposals should not be moments for making grand gestures to someone you barely know, but rather more personal proposals to show your affinity–whether romantic or platonic–to your date. 

There is innate sweetness in the idea, since you can personalize your promposal to your dates likes and dislikes. Many include cute puns that deliver a clever twist to the interests of whom you are asking. This adds flair to your prom date, by incorporating more thought and importance into the proposal since it is often more fun than simply asking. 

People feel that promposals are often too public, and can embarrass your date out of going with you. However, that’s up to you and your date. If you know your promposal-ee is uncomfortable with bringing that kind of attention to themselves, it would probably be a better idea to stay away from big, public promposals and rather do something simpler. However, if both you and your date are comfortable with grand promposal ideas, you are welcome to go all out and have fun with the event. 

At its core, the controversy with promposals is rooted from unexpected proposals. Yes, the promposal should be a surprise to your date, since it makes the whole spiel much more exciting and fun. But usually this is only true if the person is already your date. Overall, promposals are a sweet and fun part of prom season and can truly add to your prom experience through a well-thought out, cute, potentially punny promposal. 


Con – Kacie Burns

One of the core pillars of American high school culture is prom, and with that is all the awkwardness and embarrassment of finding a date. Although cute and seemingly “affectionate,” promposals add unneeded pressure to the already hectic environment of prom. 

Being asked in a grand display of emotion forces a person into making a decision they don’t want to make. Someone showing up to your house or work with a poster, chocolates, and even their friends creates anxiety and embarrassment around the situation. The added pressure of being asked so publicly makes saying “no” almost impossible. At worst you embarrass them (and yourself a little) in front of everyone, and at best you hurt their feelings. Saying “yes” when you don’t mean only makes prom worse for you; prom is supposed to be looked forward to, not dreaded. 

The whole idea of promposals feel outdated; don’t they just reassert stereotypical gender roles concerning relationships? Most of the time, it’s only guys asking girls, which only just takes away a girl’s choice to choose who they want to ask or go to prom with. Asking someone to prom doesn’t have to be a one sided decision, but constantly resorting to promposals cements the “asking to prom” as a male duty. Girls should have a say in the process of being asked and going to prom. 

Additionally, no one really can consent to being asked because it ruins the surprise. Not everyone wants a display of affection in front of their peers, family, or coworkers, and not everyone reads social cues that hint at uncomfortability. Prom doesn’t need to be some romantic gesture when going with friends or alone is perfectly acceptable. Dates shouldn’t be pushed as the norm for prom, as they just create more stress and enforce archaic notions of relationships. Just because prom is a rite of passage doesn’t mean old-fashioned traditions need to still be practiced.